19 Sobering Realizations You’ll Have The Year After You Graduate College
Upcoming changes to the way we log in on College Confidential. Read more here. April edited April in Parent Cafe. As some of you may remember, this is not my first time asking for advice.
To give a quick update of my situation, I've been in counseling and trying to implement some lifestyle changes into my routine getting exercise, eating a little better, etc. Now I feel physically and emotionally better, so things have definitely improved in that regard, but there's one thing that's just not changing. I have completely and utterly lost my drive and motivation.
While I would usually procrastinate a ton, I always got my work done no matter what it took, and now I just physically can't seem to make myself do it anymore. While I'm doing fine in the rest of my classes, I really just feel like I'm going through the motions and not getting anywhere. I really don't like the freshman curriculum for my major, and I'm on my second year of college with no practical progress toward anything but these specific career-oriented programs OT, then engineering.
Frankly, I have no idea whether I have no idea what to do or if I just don't want to do anything. I've been encouraged to do the first semester of electrical engineering and see how I feel about it, but considering that I'd be taking even higher level math and more difficult physics, I don't foresee myself having a great experience.
I really have lost my passion for things in general, and it's driven me to reevaluate some previous choices. What I would previously have regarded as responsibility, such as refusing to see the people that I cared about in order to study or work, now seems unconscionable.
It uc prompt 8 examples doesn't make sense in my head to tell the people that I love that I can't spend time with them because I have to do things that don't matter to me and feel completely pointless. I've mulled over changing my major, but I really have no concept of what I would change it to. I've considered taking a year off but I have no idea if I'd even be able to find a job or if it would be even worse than school.
I just feel really feeling lost in college and miserable every second that I spend in a classroom. At this point, if someone told me that I didn't have to go to class if I just hit myself in the thigh hard with a hammer, I'd definitely choose the hammer. I just can't seem to force myself to do the work anymore.
It's always been somewhat of a struggle to pay attention and get stuff done. Even in middle school I wasn't allowed to sit by windows because I wouldn't pay attention. In high school, I slept in class all of the time, not out of disrespect, but because I was so bored and tired I could sit there and poke myself with a pencil and bounce my knees and do anything I could think of to stay awake, but none of it worked. When I try to do work at home, even if I eliminate every single distraction I can think of, I end up literally staring at a wall instead of working.
Either that or I fall asleep and drool in my textbook. I have a feeling that a lot of people will say to change my attitude, and develop a better work ethic, but how?
I don't know how to make myself think differently and even my counselor hasn't been forthcoming with that answer. Sorry for the rant and wall-of-text. I just really don't know what to do anymore. April edited April Post edited by hyperJulie on April Replies to: Feeling lost. JustaMom replies 98 threads Senior Member. April I thought there was something really wrong with me. I think I am mildly ADD oriented, but I think that comes with being creative and not being willing to just accept things as black or white.
It's possible that you just really are not studying something that really floats your boat. Try answering this question: if failure were not an option, and there were no obstacles money, time, family requirements, etc.
For me it's tell stories in both the written form and film. And travel. If I could combine them, I'd be in pure heaven! Maybe next semester you could take all different and more creative classes and tap into that side of your brain for a short time. DoveMom 77 replies 4 threads New Member. Hi Julie! You haven't said, but you may have a bit of ADD, but despite that, not everyone is cut out for traditional learning.
Just's suggestion of trying out some more creative classes may be a way to go. Here are some other options: 1 Check out the clubs at your school and join a few that appeal to you. As you make new friends resume template for graduate school perhaps guy guide some volunteer projects, you may feel more energized.
Sometimes, just another person's way of explaining a concept is all you need to get you back on track. I hope these suggestions help and wish you the best, DoveMom. Greenery replies 54 threads Member. Have you taken those tests that will help to pinpoint your strengths? I'm sure you are good in math and science, but maybe the area is not motivating you The Counselor can administer the test to identify other educational areas. Once you find your place and graduate and work there is always struggle so balance life with hobbies too.
Many people go through those stages VeryHappy replies threads Senior Member. Another possibility is that you might need an antidepressant. No shame in that; some people need high blood pressure medication and others need antidepressants. Talk to your counselor again or, perhaps, your doctor. There's nothing wrong with a trial of these meds for a month or two to see if they make a difference for you.
I also agree that it sounds like depression- ADD doesn't usually manifest wait till college to be apparent. At first, our child at college was taking very heavy loads of tough classes and starting to sink under the enormous work load. When we tuned in and took a look at the actual graduation requirements and saw the pace he was keeping we had a good talk.
He slowed down and hit a better balance. Still well on track to graduating on time. It was important for him to stop seeing it as a race to be finished. Maybe take the 20, foot view of your college years, determine if next semester you can lighten the course load a bit and find some really fun activities outside of academics.
The sky won't fall. We are not machines. Hi Julie, I am feeling lost in college parent of a child who has expressed the exact same feelings in almost the exact words.
He began feeling this way during his freshman year of college. We encouraged him to see a counselor and the one he saw then was a great help--unfortunately the guy moved and he has not found another one with whom he could connect as well. The counselor suggested ADD testing and he was off the charts.
ADD meds have helped some with the concentration but not the feeling of loss of motivation. The meds also led to several side effects with their own problems the worst being insomnia. He felt at a lossdecided he didn't like his original major or his original career goal. Changed majors and eventually transferred schools to see if that would help. It doesn't help the loss of self esteem when he focuses on friends who are doing what they love and being successful too!
Like you, he often procrastinates but would get the work done. The last couple of semesters he has had to drop classes due to getting behind and also some medical issues like surgeries. He called last night and though he has a reduced course load is still having trouble focusing and motivating himself to do the work. He should graduate in May and still doesn't know what he wants to do his major doesn't lead towards employment immediately after undergrad.
He has tried several different antidepressants and is currently on one now, however they really haven't helped this loss of motivation, feelings of worthlessness and just general "at loose ends". I'm afraid I am guilty of just what you said people are telling you, Julie. I tell him to make a plan, set a goal--his reply is that then he just feels more like a failure when he doesn't follow the plan or meet the goal.
He, like you, WANTS to change, to be happy, to meet his own expectations, but is at a loss of how you get there. Sometimes he gets angry with me and says "OK, fine, I'll just push that button and presto, I will change!!! It is easy to look around you and think everyone else is doing great, happy and has "all their ducks in a row". But you really don't know what anyone else is going through privately. I am hoping that like a previous poster stated, he will come into his own his time and will find that area that "floats his boat".
He is finishing up a major, more due to default than interest, so maybe after undergrad he will resume sample download doc his calling. I wish you the best--keep up the good nutrition and exercise. It does help and try not to be too hard on yourself. PM me if you ever need to "talk". Im wondering what sort of counseling are you having now? I had behavior mod " therapy" which has been helpful, but you may need something with a different approach.
I think that those fields are fine to explore in undergrad, but that the student will ultimately be happier and more successful, if they have a broader base of understanding and take more of a liberal arts approach. So much can also depend on are you getting enough sleep?
19 Sobering Realizations You’ll Have The Year After You Graduate College
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How to Deal With Feeling Lost in College
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